Eyes in the back of my head
By Maarten Ubermaans
Institute of Ocular Surgery, Lippenhuizen, Netherlands
I used to have trouble seeing anything in front of me, now I can see just about anything anywhere around me with my new eyes, which I’m hailing as a medical miracle. As a football referee, it is not easy to keep an eye on all parts of the game, but having had an extra pair of eyes surgically implanted into the back of my skull - I can now see all.
Off-sides are now much easier to call, as I can see those offenders in front and behind me as well as keeping an eye on my assistant on the touchline. I have recommended this to the Koninklijke Nederlandse Voetbal Bond, the Dutch football league. Bookings for dissent have increased, whilst offensive backchat has decreased on the pitch.
I still have a bit of work to do on the eyebrows admittedly, but that will come with time. I have also had some (nasty and unfair) comments about my ponytail, which draws crowds, but at least now I can see them laughing behind my back.
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