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Ask The Crocodile God

By Mark Steer

Three thousand years ago the town of Tebtunis was flourishing on the banks of the Nile. Known by the Ancient Greeks as Crocodopolis, this was the Egyptian centre of crocodile worship – the home of Sobek, crocodile god.

Sobek meant different things to different people. To some he was feared, worshiped to keep the Nile crocodiles from munching through your legs. To others, however, he was the keeper of retrospective justice. If someone had pinched your papyrus or trifled with your family tomb, Sobek would be able to help you out.

Recent archaeological finds around the site of Tebtunis have uncovered cards that ordinary folk offered to Sobek in order to find out who had done them wrong. It is thought that the aggrieved party wrote their suspects’ names on cards, spread them before a shrine and than allowed the crocodile god to guide their hand to the guilty party.

One of the cards archaeologists uncovered reads “…if Thamista was the man who has stolen my bronze pot, give me this card…”. We will never know whether Thamista was found guilty and given a good kicking for his dishonesty.

Effectiveness
We can only assume that, had the Ancient Egyptian gods been capable of dabbling in the affairs of men, they probably wouldn’t have sanctioned the demise of the world’s one-time premier civilisation. Not recommended. 0/5

Ethics
Currying favour with a deified crocodile with the express purpose of finding out who’s pinched your pot? Makes Dr Faustus’ exploits sound a bit tame. 1/5

How to avoid it
If your name’s on the chosen card, there’s only one option. There’s a be-crazed crocodile-worshipping nutter on your tail. Take your hoards of swag and head for the hill or risk some serious punishment.


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Image: Carol Lam




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12 Feb 2012