Britain Braced For A Ducking
By Hannah Welham
Brace yourselves my fellow Brits. This summer's never ending rains are being suitably accompanied by a new wave of inhabitants to our well-weathered shores - in the form of plastic ducks!I kid you not. It all started back in December 1992 when a cargo ship carrying 28,800 plastic bath-time companions (ducks, turtles, frogs, even beavers!) shed its load into the Pacific. Presumably chaos reigned as 28,800 disappointed customers were left to bathe it alone. For oceanographer Curtis Ebbesmeyer though, the fiasco opened up one of science's most unusual testing opportunities.
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So what can this possibly have to do with Britain? Well, OSCURS latest prediction prophesises that the ducks may well be on the move. Yup, the itchy-footed playthings are thought to have been headed across the Arctic Ocean since 2003, popping up from time to time along the USA's Eastern Seaboard. There have even been sightings of a single plastic frog being washed up on Scottish shores.
This sole pilgrim shouldn't be lonesome for much longer though. According to Ebbesmeyer "it is now inevitable that they will get caught up in the Atlantic currents and will turn up on English beaches".
It's speculated that the South-West of England will probably be the first to receive our synthetic guests. If you are fortunate enough to spot one, Ebbesmeyer suggests that you check for the brand name 'The First Years' to make sure your duck isn't an imposter. If it is the right sort then drop Curtis an email telling him where you made your sighting. (Details are below.)
With such a charming tale recounted it seems a bit pernickety to raise the good old eco-friendly banner. Perhaps the less environmentally conscious amongst you would prefer to avert your eyes and continue your day with unspoiled bath-time nostalgia.
That said, it does seem important to point out that all this plastic chugging around our oceans can't exactly be doing much good. Further complicating matters, the epic journey of the little travellers seems unlikely to end anytime soon.
Recently, a message in a bottle dated to 1975 was washed up in Alaska after a calculated ten circuits of the Pacific! If the ducks go the same way they will have completed the same number of laps by 2022, no doubt choking innumerable turtles, scaring a myriad jellyfish and getting stuck in countless whales' blowholes.
But before this article takes an unexpected turn for the depressing, we would like to point out that there is a blindingly obvious solution to the problem. Simply take any you might be lucky enough to find home with you - never before will the UK have had so much fun in the tub!
Email your sightings to CurtisEbbesmeyer@comcast.net
or try http://beachcombersalert.org for even more flotsam related fun!
This is not the first time Dr Ebbermeyer has graced our screens. Read about his nutty experiment. Want more? You can have a play around with the OSCURS programme yourself - go through the link and then press the 'get data' button. Or you might like to stay with us, in which case try find out more about Hannah or follow the links:
- Spoof - Rubber ducks breeding in the UK
- Straight - The real aliens
- Bizarre - Eggs: not a yolking matter
Picture courtesy of David Rigotti
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