Be My Valentine
There are a number of suggestions as to the origins of Valentine’s Day. It seems to contain vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. Today, the Catholic Church recoginises at least three different Saints named Valentine or Valentinus. Regardless of mystery and historical inaccuracy, in modern times it has become globally recognised as a day to express love to ones’ romantic partner.
Research by Goodwin et al. (1990) suggested the biggest spenders on Valentine’s Day were young males between the ages of 18 and 25, with females being more inclined to receive gifts than to give. So, just what is man’s motivation for gift-giving on Valentine’s Day?
More general research by Wolfinbarger (1990) on gift-giving identified three motives: obligation, self-interest and altruism. With these motives in mind, a research group in Newcastle conducted extensive interviews with 61 men aged 18-25 years.1
In order to be eligible, all participants had to be able to recall a Valentine’s Day purchase made for a romantic partner within the last two years. The 37 questions posed included, “Do you think the expense of the gift can be seen as a sign of love or commitment to your girlfriend?” and “Would you ever consider not buying a Valentine’s Day present?”.
It should at this point be noted that this research was conducted by an all male team. One can only assume this was designed to expose the truth behind what many women believe to be the most romantic day of the year, as men felt no shame in revealing their feelings to other men. Especially those who were perceived to be kindred spirits.
The results were indisputable. The overwhelming motivation was identified as obligation. All 61 respondents believed that giving a gift is necessary, simply because their partner would be expecting a gift.
In many respondents, obligation was combined with self-interest. A classic example of this self-interest is in the giving of lingerie - 89% of respondents said they would derive pleasure from giving this type of gift and would be thinking of themselves in the purchase process. Pure altruism (the romantic motive) did not appear to exist on its own.
So, the moral of the story appears to be this. Ladies, if you want a beautiful and expensive gift this Valentine’s Day, don’t put your faith in love. Be demanding, thereby ensuring your man feels suitably obligated. And if you want to pull out all the stops, play the self-interest card and make sure he knows he’ll get something in return (the responses to what men would like in return were often too ‘graphic’ to publish!).
Alternatively, hold out for true love. Research will tell men that women value the card as much as the present. But the marketing experts won’t tell them this, as talk is cheap. So, this Valentine’s Day, woo your partner with words.
Just don’t blame me if your girlfriend gets the hump because you didn’t buy roses.
Research by Goodwin et al. (1990) suggested the biggest spenders on Valentine’s Day were young males between the ages of 18 and 25, with females being more inclined to receive gifts than to give. So, just what is man’s motivation for gift-giving on Valentine’s Day?
More general research by Wolfinbarger (1990) on gift-giving identified three motives: obligation, self-interest and altruism. With these motives in mind, a research group in Newcastle conducted extensive interviews with 61 men aged 18-25 years.1
In order to be eligible, all participants had to be able to recall a Valentine’s Day purchase made for a romantic partner within the last two years. The 37 questions posed included, “Do you think the expense of the gift can be seen as a sign of love or commitment to your girlfriend?” and “Would you ever consider not buying a Valentine’s Day present?”.
It should at this point be noted that this research was conducted by an all male team. One can only assume this was designed to expose the truth behind what many women believe to be the most romantic day of the year, as men felt no shame in revealing their feelings to other men. Especially those who were perceived to be kindred spirits.
The results were indisputable. The overwhelming motivation was identified as obligation. All 61 respondents believed that giving a gift is necessary, simply because their partner would be expecting a gift.
In many respondents, obligation was combined with self-interest. A classic example of this self-interest is in the giving of lingerie - 89% of respondents said they would derive pleasure from giving this type of gift and would be thinking of themselves in the purchase process. Pure altruism (the romantic motive) did not appear to exist on its own.
So, the moral of the story appears to be this. Ladies, if you want a beautiful and expensive gift this Valentine’s Day, don’t put your faith in love. Be demanding, thereby ensuring your man feels suitably obligated. And if you want to pull out all the stops, play the self-interest card and make sure he knows he’ll get something in return (the responses to what men would like in return were often too ‘graphic’ to publish!).
Alternatively, hold out for true love. Research will tell men that women value the card as much as the present. But the marketing experts won’t tell them this, as talk is cheap. So, this Valentine’s Day, woo your partner with words.
Just don’t blame me if your girlfriend gets the hump because you didn’t buy roses.
Top Five Valentine’s Gifts (to suit all motives)
1. A handmade Valentine’s Day card
Wish you’d paid more attention to Blue Peter? Don’t worry, it’s the thought that counts and the personal touch will definitely win you brownie points!
2. Fresh flowers
The key to this is how they are delivered. In fact the key is to have them delivered. One instance when the personal touch is not required.
3. Chocolates
Because every woman loves (the) Milk Tray (man).
4. A romantic candlelit dinner - for two
Cook her favourite meal, light some candles, stand the wine in ice and light background music to set the scene perfectly. Just make sure it’s not egg and chips in front of the telly.
5. A weekend in Paris
1. A handmade Valentine’s Day card
Wish you’d paid more attention to Blue Peter? Don’t worry, it’s the thought that counts and the personal touch will definitely win you brownie points!
2. Fresh flowers
The key to this is how they are delivered. In fact the key is to have them delivered. One instance when the personal touch is not required.
3. Chocolates
Because every woman loves (the) Milk Tray (man).
4. A romantic candlelit dinner - for two
Cook her favourite meal, light some candles, stand the wine in ice and light background music to set the scene perfectly. Just make sure it’s not egg and chips in front of the telly.
5. A weekend in Paris
The city of love. No explanation required.
1. Motivations for male gift giving on Valentine’s Day. School of Management, University of Newcastle, ANZMAC 2000.
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