Lazy Teens In Sci Shocker
By Hayley Birch
Scientists have “discovered” that teens become lazier as they grow older. Authors of the study observed a significant drop in levels of physical activity between early and mid adolescence.
Honestly, tell us something we don’t know. I could have come to the same conclusion without so much as moving from my chair. Yet scientists at the University of Minnesota obviously felt a five-year long project was needed to prove it.
Lead researcher, Melissa Nelson, PhD, called the results “disturbing”. Clearly Dr. Nelson somehow arrived at her current age through some sort of time warp, having avoided the whole painful experience of teendom altogether.
Hormones dictate that we spend our teenage years thus: gazing out of windows after the new Dreamy Student Biology Teacher; gazing miserably in the mirror at the unsatisfactory hairstyle/brace face/cleavage preventing further association between self and said Dreamy Student Biology Teacher; and gazing helplessly at the latest installment of biology homework, because during class you were gazing helplessly at Dreamy Student Biology Teacher.
Yet scientists are convinced teens are putting themselves at risk by staying sedentary. Nelson claims inactivity during adolescence is linked to increased likelihood of obesity later on.
Perhaps the problem for teens is that during school years, the idea of physical activity and the torture of sports lessons become too closely connected. I can only speak for the girls, but running round an icy field in what amounted to a mini-skirt, desperately trying to avoid flashing blue granny-style gym pants at “The Boys”, was enough to mortify me into the belief that running = torture for nigh on a decade.
Honestly, tell us something we don’t know. I could have come to the same conclusion without so much as moving from my chair. Yet scientists at the University of Minnesota obviously felt a five-year long project was needed to prove it.
Lead researcher, Melissa Nelson, PhD, called the results “disturbing”. Clearly Dr. Nelson somehow arrived at her current age through some sort of time warp, having avoided the whole painful experience of teendom altogether.
Hormones dictate that we spend our teenage years thus: gazing out of windows after the new Dreamy Student Biology Teacher; gazing miserably in the mirror at the unsatisfactory hairstyle/brace face/cleavage preventing further association between self and said Dreamy Student Biology Teacher; and gazing helplessly at the latest installment of biology homework, because during class you were gazing helplessly at Dreamy Student Biology Teacher.
Yet scientists are convinced teens are putting themselves at risk by staying sedentary. Nelson claims inactivity during adolescence is linked to increased likelihood of obesity later on.
Perhaps the problem for teens is that during school years, the idea of physical activity and the torture of sports lessons become too closely connected. I can only speak for the girls, but running round an icy field in what amounted to a mini-skirt, desperately trying to avoid flashing blue granny-style gym pants at “The Boys”, was enough to mortify me into the belief that running = torture for nigh on a decade.
Hayley's other articles are just as well written, but about less obvious topics. You should read them!
If you liked this article then check out these:
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If you liked this article then check out these:
- It's Natural - Give Teenage mums a break
- Spoof - Coolium: The new element
- Obvious - Kids love their blankies
- Interesting - Students Dino discovery
Image: Martin Walls
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