Doctor, Doctor...
By Dave Hall
For all you hypochondriacs out there, Dave Hall continues his regular look at a some of the more unusual medical conditions, as well as some you thought you knew all about.
This week: ANTHRAX
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Condition – Not just a popular US thrash metal band of the 80s, but also an acute infectious disease caused by the bacterium Bacillus anthracis. Anthrax spores are very tough and can live for decades or even centuries dormant in the soil; they also can and have been used as a biological warfare agent. All this adds up to one mean mother…
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Contagion – Livestock farmers exposed to infected dead animals and animal products are at the highest risk from anthrax. The direct person-to-person spread of the bacteria is extremely unlikely.
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| Danger of death – Fortunately this is now a very rare form of infection because of the low incidence of anthrax disease in animals. Even so, if you do get it, death usually occurs about eight days after exposure - nasty. |  |
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Incurability? – Effective decontamination of people can be accomplished by a thorough wash down with anti-microbe effective soap and water. Or, iron letters (yes, on an ironing board) at +200 degrees Celsius to kill off any spores that are stuck in your mail.
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Likelihood of getting time off work – It sounds pretty horrendous, so you’re bound to be able to play the sympathy card pretty easily for this one.
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| Brag-ability – If you get a few skin lesions, then you’ll be able to show the scars – but pick up gastroenteric anthrax and you’ll be chucking up blood and probably kark it way before you get to brag about it all - lovely. |
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Overall ridiculousness – The world went anthrax crazy when a few envelopes of the stuff turned up in the USA in 2001. Luckily, it came to very little, but the risk is always there. We recommend getting a butler to open any mail for you. |
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More conditions to come soon:
'Half-seeing' disorder, Plague and more.
Find more curious conditions in Doctor Doctor. If you can't wait for the next Doctor Doctor, then why not find a Phunny Phobia to keep you going?
Photo: CDC, USA.
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