Doctor, Doctor...
By Dave Hall
For all you hypochondriacs out there, Dave Hall continues his regular look at a some of the more unusual medical conditions, as well as some you thought you knew all about.
This week: MORGELLONS DISEASE.
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Condition – This mysterious illness displays almost sci-fi like symptoms. Sufferers complain of intensely creepy-crawly skin and "black hairs" emerging from skin wounds. Some in the medical community blame the ‘disease’ on psychotic delusion, but others say the symptoms are very real.
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Contagion – None known, the condition just seems to manifest itself in patients at all different times. The MRF (Morgellons Research Foundation) say they have been contacted by over 10,000 families.
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| Danger of death – As far as we can make out, no one has ever died, although many people have claimed to have skin rashes, fibre-like filaments under the skin, fatigue and the sensation of insect-like crawling, stinging or biting on or under the skin – freaky! | |
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Incurability? – Apart from psychological treatments, sufferers have turned to antibiotics as well as more obscure methods such as epsom salt baths, vinegar, antifungal soaps and shampoos and even bleach and industrial insecticides! (Don’t try that at home.)
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Likelihood of getting time off work – If you start scratching your skin red raw and claiming to have things “living under your skin” then you’ll either get sent home to recover, or you’ll get the men in white coats coming out to get you. Either way, time off is guaranteed.
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| Brag-ability – Not sure you can brag about something that is not there? If you can, good luck to you. |
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Overall ridiculousness – An unusual condition but one that is apparently on the increase. You’ll have a hard time convincing the GP that it’s a serious illness, but at least you wont be alone in having it. |
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More conditions to come soon:
Mad Cow Disease, Marburg Virus and more.
Find more curious conditions in Doctor Doctor. If you can't wait for the next Doctor Doctor, then why not find a Phunny Phobia to keep you going?
Photo: Enochlau
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