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To Pee Or Not To Pee

To Pee Or Not To Pee

By Emma Laws

As if the younger generations weren’t subject to enough pressure – what with examinations from the age of five, and increasing competitive stress in sports - new research has reported that even the very leisure of urinating has been forbidden during unauthorised classroom hours.

The recent discovery, made by a team of American urologists, has led to further investigation by a one Christopher Cooper, Director of Paediatric Urology at the University of Iowa Children's Hospital. He claims that prolonged periods of strain on the bladder physically hurt children, adding with intelligent after thought, “People of all ages should use the bathroom every two or three hours.”



The work by Cooper and co. has now led to blame of the teaching establishment for nearly all ‘pee’ related problems amongst the young, and possible law suits against specifically strict teaching, claiming public humiliation and shame of their children should be compensated for.

However if frequent release is vital and ‘holding it in’ poses a possible health risk, how is a teacher to say no to the class idiot who is asking, again, to pee during her class, returning a few minutes before the end smelling of cigarettes? The alternatives are bladder rupture or a law suit; not very appealing.

For something that might well appeal to you, try:

- News - Giving is as good as sex
- Spoof - Wee research for wee boys
- Straight - Scientists measure distractedness
- Strange - Chinese tea is funny wee
Image: Andrej Troha

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19 May 2010
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