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Seagull wine

Summary: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Miles ahead of all the other weird and unwonderful drinks in terms of sheer nastiness is seagull wine. Made by the Inuits, it stands as a testament to the ideology of getting drunk no matter what the cost.

To make this beverage find a seagull, alive or dead. If it's alive, kill it. Put it in a bottle. Fill the bottle with water. Leave it in direct sunlight to ferment of a goodly while and, bingo, you've got yourself some seagull wine. Now all you have to do is travel to the very depths of despair. It'll still taste terrible, but at least you won't care.

Once again the only person who seems to have plucked up the courage to try it, and lived long enough to tell the tale, is the incorrigible Suzanne Donahue (of three lizards liquor fame):

"Well, if you opened up a Toyota's carburetor and drank the leftover fluid from inside, that would be pretty close," she reckons. "It goes down hard and settles in even worse. But I must say it sure gets people inebriated in a hurry. And the next day's hangover is nothing short of spectacular. You'll feel like you've been repeatedly beaten over the head by a giant...well, seagull."

Chunder rating: 

Interesting fact: There are a variety of recipes on the Internet for seagull. They all sound horrible.

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt < | See All | > Fermented Mare's Milk

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21 Jul 2011
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