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Cure for ADHD Found

Cure for ADHD Found

By Miketron

Fifteen years ago, you would have been lucky to have heard of Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder. Of course, you probably would have seen its effects in school playgrounds or the supermarket: screaming children unable to be consoled by an ever-tired parent.

As the numbers of victims of this terrible disorder have increased, new treatments such as the controversial Dexedrine and Ritalin have been administered to sufferers (mainly children) to attempt to focus their attention and calm their out-of-control nervous energy.

For as many years as these treatments have been used, their results have been debated by the scientific and parental communities.

"97% of cases [of ADHD] could be completely cured in a matter of weeks"
Luckily, recent research conducted at the University of Sydney is proving that out of 5000 children tested with treatments for ADHD, 97% of cases could be completely cured in a matter of weeks just by smacking the children more often.

Added to the smacking of the child, chores such as lawn mowing, tidying bedrooms, washing cars and cooking dinner were proven to have a strong counter-action to the ADHD effects.

While smacking your children has become somewhat taboo over the last few years, thanks to the Sydney Uni research, Australian doctors can now prescribe a certain amount of smacks per week for affected children or recommend parents to “smacking centres” where a qualified professional can belt the badly behaved juniors.

Pictured above is one of the test children in the group of subjects at Sydney University.

As you can see on the left, before the smacking treatment commenced, this child was out of control - regularly brandishing high-calibre weapons and screaming for chocolate. On the right, the same child after a few weeks of smacking and chores – obviously much better behaved and even blonder than before the testing process.

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Get more from Miketron or check out the links below:

- Funny - How video games make you sick
- Obvious - Why clothes are better than sunscreen
- Unreal - Woman gives birth to rabbit
- Interesting - How laughing works

Note: This is a joke. The Null does not in any way condone the beating, battering, bullying, berating or bashing of children. Please don't do it. Thanks.

Title image: J Miller

Your Say

Yes, a good reminder that smacking children will kill them & send them to heaven.
Yoohoo, USA

Blimey - Yoohoo [above] must give children a good old clobber. I've never even hospitalised any.
Geoff, Canterbury

Not so sure this article should be in the spoof section... (other than the going to heaven bit [from Yoohoo, Your Say]!!)

The Mighty Roosh

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14 Jul 2011
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