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Can Petals Cut Temper?

Can Petals Cut Temper?

By Richard Bond


The latest recordings from the Other Lab have taken a sinister twist. Just how far will people go to keep their little darlings quiet?


“A cure for toddler tantrums could be on the way...Psychologists from Plymouth University say homeopathic treatments, made by putting petals into water, helped three-quarters of parents control tantrums in children aged two to five…”
From ‘Minicosm’, Metro, August 2007

A typical summer afternoon in the family garden.
A small child is screaming.
  • It’s no good screaming Bethany, you’re too young to light the barbecue and that’s that!
  • [The screaming continues] 
  • You’ve been screaming now for half an hour Bethany, and it’s not going to make any difference. You’re driving me and your Dad up the wall!
  • [The screaming continues] 
  • For God’s sake. Wayne, where are you, what are you doing?
  • Just coming, love. I’ve been reading in the paper about some boffins who reckon that you can control toddler tantrums using a glass of water and a few flower petals.
  • Oh yes, very likely!
  • That what it says. They reckon flower essences calm children down. Alder, orange, sweet chestnut…
  • How come?
  • I don’t know, but that’s what it says. Says it’s a cure for toddler tantrums. That’s good enough for me.
  • [The screaming continues] 
  • Worth a try I suppose.
  • That’s what I thought. I’m using magnolia petals.
  • Nice. Just one thing though, Wayne.
  • What’s that, love?
  • Why a bucket full?
  • You don’t think a glass is going to be enough do you?
  • [There is a loud splash. The screaming stops] 
  • There, that’s seems to have done the trick.
  • Yes. Very effective.
  • Not sure what the petals were for though.
  • Oh don’t worry, I can wash them out of her hair later…now, how are those sausages doing?

Get more conversations from the Other Lab on Richard's homepage or let these articles tickle your ribcage:

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- Tetchy - Space station 'too messy' says astronaut

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Image: Denz Zani


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11 Feb 2009
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