Cock And Bull Stories
By Katherine Ball
Apparently, by the year 3000 the human race will have evolved to be physically faultless, in the sexual sense at least.
According to Oliver Curry an ‘evolutionary theorist’ of the Darwin@LSE research centre, all men will own genitalia the size of small nuclear warheads and women’s breasts will be akin to those attainable only through a series of increasingly substantial implants.
So what evidence is there that this contemporarily unobtainable physique will have evolved by the year 3000, and should we be jealous of our future great-great (etc.) grandchildren for owning such enviable appendages?
Alongside this sexual prowess, Homo sapiens will also have blended the spectrum of ethnic diversity into a refined, if somewhat samey, double-skinny-iced-mocha-to-go complexion; be capable of living well into their twelfth decade; and grow to a height analogous to super-twig Erin O’Connor. Apparently.
So do the rantings of the untitled Mr. Curry have any scientific grounding or are they more a work of social and political philosophy? And more importantly, do we care? Well in short no, and err no.
While the sociological background for research is potentially valid, scientifically the hypothesis is not. What Curry fails to verify is that the notion of a mixing of cultural diversity into one ‘monotone’ group is not happening any time soon. 1000 years in evolutionary time is an inexplicably short period for the creation of what is essentially a ‘new’ species. Further to this rather implausible concept of racial assimilation, Curry fails to realise that in many countries mixed ethnic cultures are interbreeding and have been for years; we are yet to see any evidence of a coffee-coloured nation due mainly to the random and realised existence of recessive and dominant gene theory.
I could go on. But I won’t, for your sake as much as mine. While the notion of super-sized genitals may be every man’s (and woman’s) dream, don’t start getting your hopes up that your ancestors will resemble racehorses down below. Evolution doesn’t work like that.
Do you agree? Tell us using the form below. To read more about Katy or to view more of her articles click here.
According to Oliver Curry an ‘evolutionary theorist’ of the Darwin@LSE research centre, all men will own genitalia the size of small nuclear warheads and women’s breasts will be akin to those attainable only through a series of increasingly substantial implants.
So what evidence is there that this contemporarily unobtainable physique will have evolved by the year 3000, and should we be jealous of our future great-great (etc.) grandchildren for owning such enviable appendages?
Alongside this sexual prowess, Homo sapiens will also have blended the spectrum of ethnic diversity into a refined, if somewhat samey, double-skinny-iced-mocha-to-go complexion; be capable of living well into their twelfth decade; and grow to a height analogous to super-twig Erin O’Connor. Apparently.
So do the rantings of the untitled Mr. Curry have any scientific grounding or are they more a work of social and political philosophy? And more importantly, do we care? Well in short no, and err no.
While the sociological background for research is potentially valid, scientifically the hypothesis is not. What Curry fails to verify is that the notion of a mixing of cultural diversity into one ‘monotone’ group is not happening any time soon. 1000 years in evolutionary time is an inexplicably short period for the creation of what is essentially a ‘new’ species. Further to this rather implausible concept of racial assimilation, Curry fails to realise that in many countries mixed ethnic cultures are interbreeding and have been for years; we are yet to see any evidence of a coffee-coloured nation due mainly to the random and realised existence of recessive and dominant gene theory.
I could go on. But I won’t, for your sake as much as mine. While the notion of super-sized genitals may be every man’s (and woman’s) dream, don’t start getting your hopes up that your ancestors will resemble racehorses down below. Evolution doesn’t work like that.
Do you agree? Tell us using the form below. To read more about Katy or to view more of her articles click here.
Image: Nara Vieira da Silva Osga
Your Say
...and I can see the spammers in 1000 years time spamming us for penis reduction pills...
Christian Legg
...and I can see the spammers in 1000 years time spamming us for penis reduction pills...
Christian Legg
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