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'They Might Be Giants' Theory

'They Might Be Giants' Theory

By Hannah Isom

Though the possibility that giants ever roamed the earth is dismissed by many as the stuff of fairytale, or the result of one too many white wine spritzers, there is a hardcore of believers (albeit mostly in the American Mid-West) who remain convinced that these beasts once existed. What’s more, they reckon the whole thing has been covered up for over 100 years by the Smithsonian Institute.

Like any creature from myth and folklore, there is no shortage of anecdotal evidence to back up this theory. One such story was reported in the 1947 Nevada news, which described how a retired physician from Cincinnati, Dr F Bruce Russell, happened upon 180 square miles of caves near the California-Arizona border, said to contain the remains of a gaggle of 8–9 foot giants, dating to around 80,000 years ago.

The bones of the prehistoric beanpoles were clad in what could only be described as ‘zoot suits’, fashioned from the skin of an unidentified grey animal (perhaps a giant squirrel). Russell also discovered all the implements required for a mini-civilisation, such as utensils and stoves, plus some ancient abstract art in the form of hieroglyphic wall engravings.

Another man, Bourke Lee had reported happening upon these remains 10 years earlier, but described the caves as more of an underground city. He claimed that the chambers had arching stone vaults, with huge stone doors and even a polished round table, all very civilised. He postulated that the caves had once been lit by igneous lights fuelled by subterranean gases; presumably the prehistoric giant diet was rich in fibre!

Discoveries such have been reported as far back as the early 19th century. Some lucky beggars have even been lucky enough to collect hard evidence, such as bones and skulls, most of which was swiftly handed over to the Smithsonian Institute. The Smithsonian is a research organization funded by the US Government and, like most Government-controlled facilities. attracts conspiracy theories like wasps to a jam sandwich. Budding theorists think that these findings, much like the alleged Area 51 coverups, are stowed away in cobweb-ridden vaults to prevent the public finding out a truth that may shake the very foundations of Darwinism.

So far, no remains of giant women have been found, which beggars the question of how this long-limbed society reproduced, yet who are we to be so cynical? One thing is for sure is that like UFOs, poltergeists and the Loch Ness monster, this topic will crop up on internet forums for many years to come.

Hannah's other articles are just as good - but with fewer giants.  You can read them here.

Image: Marek Bernat

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20 Jul 2017
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