Wanted: New Nuclear Bomb
By Emma Norman
It’s not only British politicians who are getting itchy feet about the need to renew their collection of nuclear bombs. Since the US stopped underground nuclear testing in 1993, Pentagon concerns have grown over the performance of their fleet of ageing nuclear weaponry.
And so US Congress launched the Reliable Replacement Weapon programme, a competition to renew their arsenal of WMDs.
The lucky winners have now been announced; the top design being jointly submitted by Sandia National Laboratory in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in Livermore, California. Their design will replace the W-67 nuclear warheads that currently straddle US submarine missiles.
The new bomb is a whole new concept in nuclear fashion, as instead of the (so last century) complete obliteration style nuclear weapons designed in the 1940s, these modern 21st century fasionistas are designed for “long life”. Yes don’t worry, it’s ok, as these new weapons of choice are “sustainable nuclear deterrents”. Could there possibly be a greater contradiction in terms?
Unfortunately no further clarification has been provided of what “long life nuclear weapons” actually are. But I suspect that if you were attacked by one and still managed to live a long life, it would not be a pleasant one.
Even more good news, eh hem, is that the new weapons will contain explosives which cannot be detonated by fire or by accident; a fact which, judging by recent incidents involving friendly fire, is at least one thing which can instil some feeling of reassurance.
I don’t know about you but I’m feeling much better knowing that even nuclear weapons are becoming more people and environmentally friendly. However, if this is the new definition of sustainable, I’ll stop recycling and start driving my car more.
Emma's page has loads more fun and games. GO THERE NOW.
And so US Congress launched the Reliable Replacement Weapon programme, a competition to renew their arsenal of WMDs.
The lucky winners have now been announced; the top design being jointly submitted by Sandia National Laboratory in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in Livermore, California. Their design will replace the W-67 nuclear warheads that currently straddle US submarine missiles.
The new bomb is a whole new concept in nuclear fashion, as instead of the (so last century) complete obliteration style nuclear weapons designed in the 1940s, these modern 21st century fasionistas are designed for “long life”. Yes don’t worry, it’s ok, as these new weapons of choice are “sustainable nuclear deterrents”. Could there possibly be a greater contradiction in terms?
Unfortunately no further clarification has been provided of what “long life nuclear weapons” actually are. But I suspect that if you were attacked by one and still managed to live a long life, it would not be a pleasant one.
Even more good news, eh hem, is that the new weapons will contain explosives which cannot be detonated by fire or by accident; a fact which, judging by recent incidents involving friendly fire, is at least one thing which can instil some feeling of reassurance.
I don’t know about you but I’m feeling much better knowing that even nuclear weapons are becoming more people and environmentally friendly. However, if this is the new definition of sustainable, I’ll stop recycling and start driving my car more.
Emma's page has loads more fun and games. GO THERE NOW.
Image: Lody Lody
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