Think of something appropriate for this picture and let us know what you think. Also see the previous best entries in our archive below.

 

July caption picture

The best answer will appear in the journal and on the website.
Send your answers to: [email protected]


Caption archive

May/June caption, Vol 2, Issue 8/9.

Winner: “ A womb with a view. ” Martin, by e-mail

Best of the rest:
“ Scientists proclaim "human silkworm" experiments a stunning success.” Jim Stowe, UK.
“ Dave awoke with horror to discover that he had pupated in his sleep.” Darren J. Longhorn.
“ The nurses decided to perform a strip tease to coax Jimmy out after a difficult 32 year pregnancy.” Lewis Collins.
“ I only wanted to unblock the Hoover - I should have turned it off first.” harryjnr, UK
April caption, Vol 2, Issue 7.

Winner: “ Average rainfall... 152.4 mm.” Vince, Kent, UK.

Best of the rest:
“ As the last of the animals rolled down the conveyor belt, Derek felt the warm glow of satisfaction that always came at the end of a long day of shoving cats down funnels.” Jim Stowe, UK.
“ Georges new "Cat in a bottle” experiment had gone disastrously wrong.” Jayne Dynes, by e-mail.
“ I am your father. Join me on the Dark Side.” Mensanator, by e-mail.
March caption, Vol 2, Issue 6.

Winner: “ Dodo’s are wiped out by giant falling on island.” Frank Potts, UK.

Best of the rest:
“John's "Antigravity Underpants" show an unpredicted flaw - an affinity for salt water.” Mike Nightingale, Cardiff, UK.
“Diver confuses 'free-style' with 'style-free'.” Peter More, Amsterdam.
“Fred was having a great time scaring the whale watchers with his new hover belt.” Jayne Dynes, Cornwall, UK.
February caption, Vol 2, Issue 5.

Winner: “ ...and it holds up to 1000 songs.” Gene Wiggins, by email.

Best of the rest:
“Dave was sure he hadn't mixed up the superglue and eardrop bottles” Duncan Walters, Notts, UK.
“Distraught that no-one ever took him seriously, Geoff decided to blow his brains out. ” Sandra Nicholas, by email.
“Derek discovered that sticking his finger in just any hole didn't create the same rush of endorphins.” Lewis, Birmingham, UK.
December/january caption, Vol 2, Issue 3/4.

Winner: “ Damn it! I told you and told you... Noah said 6 AM sharp” CreateThis, by email.

Best of the rest:
“Now that's what I call a bird-bath!” Chris Cleave, Ashford, Kent.
“Landfill Site for dinner?" "Best idea you've had all day, last one there's a turkey!” Arthur Goldsmith, Bristol, UK.
“Another glue slick off Alaska” John Connolly, UK.
“A gulls gotta do what a gulls gotta do” Caroline Pratt, Canterbury, NZ.
November caption, Vol 2, Issue 2.

Winner: “ The Lion, the Bitch and the Waterphobe ” Martin Luck, Nottingham, UK.

Best of the rest:
“And I was worried about pigeons.” Ray, by e-mail.
“'Jet' lived up to his name in more way than one!” Richard Bevis, Lincolnshire, UK.
“Despite being well publicised in the tourist guide, Duncan's open-air dog-washing act failed to attract an audience.” Seldiy Bate, Croydon.
“'Spit the dog' finally got his comeuppance. ” John Tweed, Inverness.
October caption, Vol 2, Issue 1.

Winner: “ Ok. First word, ten syllables... ” Michael Gray, Australia.

Best of the rest:
“The first televised naked Punch and Judy show.” Baddog, UK.
“Cute, aren't they? Yet thousands of unwanted hands are destroyed everyday. Please call 1-800-Adopt-A-Limb right away. And don't forget to spay or neuter your little buddy.” Bart Goddard, Texas.
“In an attempt to remove unwanted door-to-door solicitors, Charles didn't realize until it was too late that he installed the trap door on the wrong side of his front door. ” Chris, California.
“ Gerald's puppet shows were minimalist, to say the least. ” Black Dog.
September caption, Vol 1, Issue 12.

Winner: “ He suddenly realised if he killed one of the lottery syndicate it would save arguments about who got the extra penny. ” Tony Martin, Stranraer, UK.

Best of the rest:
“ Roger was troubled by a recurring nightmare. ” Geoff Berrow, UK.
“ Well, it USED to be £ 333333 6s 8d ... ” Rick Grandia, Holland.
“ ....but I thought the answer was 42? ” Mike Norton, Leamington Spa, UK.
August caption, Vol 1, Issue 11.

Winner: “ White Lab Coat: £10.
Twenty Volumes of Medical Books: £150.
Finding out you just drank your patient's urine sample: Priceless. ” Kyrisch, USA.

Best of the rest:
“ See. THAT's what happens when you eat grass!” Mark Chambers, by email.
“ No, BLUE means you're pregnant. Green simply means you had asparagus for lunch.” Mensanator, by email.
“ Dont tell anyone, but it tastes just like chocolate and has absolutely no callories.” Richard Toalster, Nottingham.
     
July caption, Vol 1, Issue 10.

Winner: “ On many occasions throughout John’s life he’d been told to get knotted – now he was.” Duncan, Mansfield, Notts.

Best of the rest:
“ Bob totally misunderstood the training he required in order to join his local string quartet.” D. Walters
“ It never occurred to Stewart he’d have to do cat’s cradle in order to pass physics.” Tom Doval, Virginia, USA.
“ Dave had committed the cardinal sin of bomb disposal: only volunteer for the jobs with coloured wires.” Gareth Hardy, by email.
“ Rory and his tapeworm bid each other a tearful goodbye.... ” Hannah Hoare, Bristol.
     
June caption, Vol 1, Issue 9.

Winner: “ Bob, the photographer, didn.t know what was more incredible - the fact that the doctor was expecting a heartbeat or the fact that the dead monkey was checking the time.” Gareth Hardy, by email

Best of the rest:
“ He's dead Jim (but not as we know it).” Karl, by email
“ Mr Piltdown had quite a wait to see the consultant.” Darren Longhorn, Leeds
“ NHS hospital waiting times hit an all time high.” James Stapleton, Maidstone
     
May caption, Vol 1, Issue 8.

Winner: “Terry enjoyed a space bar with his morning coffee” Tony, by email

Best of the rest:
“Ctrl Alt BYTE” Looloo, Canada
“"Control" is the "key" to proper nutrition” Dan T, by email
“Justin struggled with the last part of the 'a computer component in every orifice' challenge...” Ross, London
     
April caption, Vol 1, Issue 7.

Winner: "Wong really wanted to get into her drawers..." Martin, by e-mail.
     

March caption, Vol 1, Issue 6.

Winner: “Kevin knew that success in the lab’s annual gecko blending competition was finally his” Erica Thomas, Liverpool.

Best of the rest:
“So, this is how much mucus a moustache catches in one month?” Anon
“Down in one! Down in one! Down in one!” Matthew Logue, N. Ireland

 

     
February caption, Vol 1, Issue 5.

Winner: “You have a cheek to call me one-sided” Raphael Kearns, N. Ireland.

Best of the rest:
“Get in that bloody suitcase! Why do you do this every time the act is over.” Steve, Location unknown…
“Copy cat killings on the increase.” Raphael Kearns, N. Ireland.
“Get out you dufus! It is my turn now.” U. Yildirim, UK
     
January caption, Vol 1, Issue 4.

Winner: “For the last time… Where are the weapons of mass destruction?” ‘Magic’ Mike, Florida, USA

Best of the rest:
“Elmo had confused non-parametric and parametric for the last time.” Ellie Whittaker, Bristol
“If you’re a proper dentist, then I’m a muppet.” Paul May, Bristol
“As Peter prepared to eliminate his last killer smurf, he suddenly thought ‘What if I made them blue…?’” Andrew Copley, UK
     
December caption, Vol 1, Issue 3.

Winner: “As John’s lecture on “the art of pulling faces” entered it’s 4th hour, the last student alive looked for inspiration.” Hayley Milsom, University of Manchester

Best of the rest:
“God appeared unto Abraham in a novel way.” Marcus Werburg, Berlin, Germany
“Trials of the National ID database to identify students attending university lectures are a resounding success, claims Home Office.” Nick Hunn, London.
“Bob suddenly realised that long distance detention was not going as planned.” Raphael K., UK.
“...and if the chairman will allow me just a couple more minutes...” Peter Barlow, Bristol.
     
November caption, Vol 1, Issue 2.

Winner: “Duncan spent the afternoon ‘pouring’ over textbooks in the library” Paul May, Bristol

Best of the rest:

“John discovers his latest idea for a Ph.D. thesis has already been researched and published” Alex Harris, Bristol
“After a couple of beers, Jeff attempted to pass his head through the desk by quantum tunnelling” Dave Kelly, Bristol
“It had only taken a beer and a half, but studious Jeff had passed out happy in the knowledge that he’d succeeded in achieving his first Uni drinking experience” Laura Briggs, Canada
“After all his research, Jeff still couldn’t find the point of non-alcoholic lager” Tom Noble, Bristol
     
October caption, Vol 1, Issue 1.

Winner: “Brian hoped that the new serum would rid him of the sceptical head growing out of his shoulder” Dave Kelly, Bristol

Best of the rest:
“Zaphod Beeblebrox is incredulous at the result of his dope test” Paul May, Bristol
“After the distillation process was complete all they were left with was the very essence of cat” Matt Steer, Suffolk
“Unable to conceive naturally, the happy couple laid eyes on junior for the first time” G. Vanquickenborne, Belgium
“Andy strains to give a urine sample. It would be so much easier if Mark would use a bigger vessel, or at least hold it a little lower!” Graeme Ruxton, Glasgow