Doctor, Doctor...
By Dave Hall
For all you hypochondriacs out there, Dave Hall continues his regular look at a some of the more unusual medical conditions, as well as some you thought you knew all about.
This week: MERMAID SYNDROME.
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Condition – Mermaid Syndrome or Sirenomelia, is a very rare birth deformity where the legs are fused together, giving the appearance of a mermaid. Unfortunately, it's unlikely to make you swim very well.
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Contagion – A rare genetic abnormality, so no way of just becoming a mermaid (sadly).
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| Danger of death – High. The condition is usually fatal within a few days of birth because patients typically have abnormal kidney, bladder and other vital organ development. There are only three known cases of children with the affliction alive in the world today. |  |
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Incurability? – There have only been a handful of successful surgeries on infants who have had the condition. Dr. Luis Rubio has performed two of them, on American Tiffany Yorks and on Milagros Arauco from Peru.
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Likelihood of getting time off work – If you make it to working age, then you’ll have a story for the boss, you might even be able to pull the “bit of jip in the old leg, it used to be a tail” card.
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| Brag-ability – It’s a novelty if you live near water, but your friends might give you a wide birth if you start dragging your tail down the pub. |
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Overall ridiculousness – Being able to swim with ease in water may be useful for a number of reasons, but the Olympic committee would certainly ban you, and you’d definitely be a fish out of water. |
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More conditions to come soon:
Bird Flu, Morgellons Disease and more.
Find more curious conditions in Doctor Doctor. If you can't wait for the next Doctor Doctor, then why not find a Phunny Phobia to keep you going?
Photo: "A Mermaid" by John William Waterhouse, 1905.
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