Best Science Proverbs
By Prof Mark Griffiths
This article contains the scientist’s guide to proverbs and “helpful” rules. I have to own up: these were all collected from various sources on Internet discussion groups and are not my own. However, I carry the can for the categorisation.
General Science
- If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
- I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.
- I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.
- I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
- Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
- It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.
- A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
- All computers wait at the same speed.
- Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
- Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
- COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
- SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory...
- Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Don’t be so open-minded your brains fall out.
- Dain bramaged.
- There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie!’... ‘til you can find a rock.
- Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
- If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
- Don’t look back, they might be gaining on you.
- I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
- Think positive and look out for number 1. Don’t step in number 2 either.
- Disinformation is not nearly as good as datinformation.
- There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
- Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest
- Where there’s a will, I want to be in it
- I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
- Always remember you’re unique, just like everybody else.
Based at Nottingham Trent University, Mark Griffiths is one of Britain's foremost researchers into gambling behaviour.
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